Over the years I have often wondered what it would be like to go on a retreat. It was certainly on my “bucket list” of things that I would like to do. I am not sure why I have never got round to actually going on one till now. So many of us these days rush around with agendas and there always seems something or someone that needs our time and attention. During one of my regular chats with my friend Chris she announced that she was planning to go on a retreat so my desire to go on retreat finally became a reality.
We chose to go to Buckfast Abbey ,in Devon, as it was easy to travel to and we had no particular type of retreat in mind for our first trip. It caused great hilarity to family and friends at the thought of Chris and I going to a retreat as they assumed that we would have to keep quite for long periods. We decided to go for a few days staying over for two nights as neither of us know what to expect. We booked in online and after a few lost emails and a conversation with Brother Steven all was set. I had just completed a Mindfulness Teachers course and was looking forward to the opportunity to do some meditations and practice some mindful techniques, such as staying in the moment and more importantly practicing being an interested observer in my life.
When we arrived at the Abbey Gatehouse guest wing we were greeted by a very friendly housekeeper, Sue, our patience and staying in moment was certainly tested when poor Sue had no idea that we were expected. We laughed as when we go away together nothing seems to go to plan. Sue was great and we were given a wonderful room with facilities. We were both staggered as to the high standard of the accommodation and what was included within a stay at the Abbey. It certainly left us shocked at the low cost they gave as a guide for donation per night. The whole stay was one of unconditional love and acceptance from everyone we came into contact with. The Gate house host Brother Steven was a delightful host with a great sense of humor.
The Abbey and grounds are such a fantastic place to be, it gave me such a wonderful relaxed feeling and sense of peace where ever I went. It was so good to have no time constraints or agendas and to just spend time going from moment to moment. Chris and I enjoyed sitting in and visiting different parts of the Abbey despite the renovation work going on within the building. It was good practice to stay in the moment if a drill or hammer started whilst sitting meditating it was good to either use the breath or an object to focus back on the moment. As it was so peaceful it was good to tune into all the things that come into your mind and how distracting and busy your mind can be. It is not often that we find the space to just sit and be. It is illuminating just what you start to observe in your mind and body. We are often just too busy to sit in the moment. To sit there and just watch the tricks and convolutions that your mind goes through when just a thought, which is a moment in time, enters your head.
The Abbey gardens and surrounding grounds are equally tranquil and it was so good to meditate and contemplate in these places too, especially in the 
warm August sunshine. This time away on retreat gave me some good personal insights and reflections. I can be easily distracted and I have learnt how to let these go, however, I was able to observe how I get distracted . I realized how I can become impatient not only with myself but also as we live in such a fast paced society with agendas and time constraints. I think that I have lost sight to some degree of the importance of patience, as the saying goes patience is a virtue. How often do we become annoyed when someone does not answer the phone, answer an email or a traffic jam? It seems that there is an expectation of an instantaneous society everything happens in a nano second. My laptop broke, I have an I Pad so was able to keep connected, so I was not so connected with my electronic friend and life did slow down in a nice way.
There are many good things that we can get from the internet, the world wide web, mobile phones and social networking however it can take away our internal peace as we forget to give ourselves some time for being in the moment and noticing how we are. In this moment how am I? In this moment how am I feeling? In this moment what am I thinking? This was another one of my reflections the need for inner peace and finding that peace within us. If we are always on red alert doing battle connecting, communication we forget to communicate with ourselves. We become self critical, judgmental, loose compassion towards ourselves and that internal harshness causes us both mental and physical harm.
In the last couple of years I have taken a few knocks emotionally, being on retreat allowed me the space, the compassion and the patience to allow myself time and space for healing and peace to enter my heart. I had not realized how bruised it was a few stitches and sticking plasters were there and now it is at peace and fully recovered. As a therapist and teacher we look after others and often forget ourselves and “me” is important too.
So a big thank you to Buckfast Abbey for the peaceful environment that it offered and all the wonderful people who work and live there. I will certainly go on another retreat and have ordered my copy of Retreats 2013 link. When I drove home all the countryside seem to be more colourful and I certainly felt at peace and any traffic problem just floated by me. I was happy that I went on my first retreat with a good friend as it was good to talk through our meditations and share our experiences.
